the hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday

audreyisrad @ 2004-06-23T00:46:00

2004-06-23T07:48:02Z

i have a new lj ... i'm tired of this username. actually i hate it. this one is simple. i love it. anywho .. add me id you'd like .. i added some of you already

audrey___

audreyisrad @ 2004-06-02T03:41:00

2004-06-02T10:56:03Z

so like i've been good. friends life. looking for a job life. yah.

today kort smellis and i went to eat at the hat and now i'm helping kort with her u.s. history and math. yah .. good/old times talks .... and we're not done with her h.w. DAMN PROCRASTINATOR!!! lol .. it's cool though ... we went to the stor mor.. ... stuff stuff stuff ... yesterday .. amity .. went to gils casa and chilled ... it was kort, steph, jenny, bbear and i for a while. but he kort left .. evan came .. then timmy and danny came ... fun times yoh. yahhh .. umm i have pictures... here they are ..

xo aud. E>

audreyisrad @ 2004-05-11T11:17:00

2004-05-11T18:22:40Z

hahaha yoyp's shirt looks better on me.

TIMMY wrote this in his journal .. and i absolutely love it

"i remember when all that mattered was looking good...and sounding cool...and having the most exclusive taste in music was the only thing that mattered...when rockstar's names were dropped to make yourself seem like a more credible person...when whoever came up with the newest coolest trend got criticized the most in the end...but then for some reason...everyone looked like that person at the end of the week...that's the way things worked...i remember dropping band names of bands you never listened to...names of people you never met...names of places youve never been to...but if it made you sound like a better person...anything would go...i remember a place where being different meant looking like everyone else...a place where if you didnt look the same as everyone else...you were the outcast...remember when we were freshmen...and we just wanted to be different...we just wanted to be something else...yah...we ended up the same...in the end...we criticized the ones who criticized us for looking the way we did...yah we criticized them for looking the way they did...revenge?...hardly...karma?...not at all...immature?...completely...i remember all this...then i remember...that it's not remembering at all...because it's what we're doing right now." - TIMMY gomez

in other newsss ... dean and i are talking again ... i didn't want to write about in in my journal .. just bc i knew people were being noesy and wanted to know the 411. i'm so glad everything is cool again ... i missed him alot. i was thinking about things alot .. and i am the most to blame. i need to grow up .. blah .. i'm done.

audreyisrad @ 2004-05-08T11:37:00

2004-05-08T18:38:30Z

AGHHHH .. last night was cRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

audreyisrad @ 2004-05-06T01:55:00

2004-05-06T09:03:43Z

thank yout o all the people that called .. imed me .. left a comment on myspace .. gave me a gift ... or spend part of my day with me .. that was realllly awesome and much appreciated.

anywho my day goes somehting like this

brother bear
mom
old town
mac store <33333 ... thanks CHOW
ogayans
teen girl squad
fred picked me up
met up with timmy and danny : once again THANKS FOR THE TICKETS TIMMY

the muse: duuuude i reallly wish i was like waaay in the back so i wouldn't be able to see him singing bc like .. he SOOOOO lip synched .. sooooo gay .. ruined our time .. but the show was still a good one ... it was really flashy n what not ...

in n out: this made up for my kind of wack day .. it was relaxing .. and just enjoyable ...

obryans .. they had a bbq there ... showed up and everyone was there ...
home
chit chat

my brother bear is the best ... he kicks ass ..s eriously . i love him SOO much .. thank you for trying to make my birthday fun fun fun ..

chow .. thank you for the gift certificate .. i LOVED it ....

timmmy .. thank you for the ticket!!!!! even though he lip synched i got to see you and dan .. annnnnddd listen to the songs .. it was a good show .. but he is gay

my mother ((although she doesnt read this)) the card you gave me was sooo pretty .. i loved it ... i love you mom!!!

fred. thanks for taking me to the show and making this day quite enjoyable. rawwwrrr .. can't wait to see F.O.B. it's gonna kick ASS

and to everyone who gave me love today .. thank you ... i never knew so many people loved me ... sweetnesss... or cared.

well i'm going me mee's now .. nite

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2004-05-01T10:05:00

2004-05-01T17:12:07Z

'CELIS PARTY WAS RADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

[x]dude .. it was crazy. from crazy drunk girls moshing.
[x]kortney socking some dude
[x]the keg
[x]sandra making me drink the last of the soco
[x]a bitter end playing
[x]absolute vodka
[x]dj playing nothing but 80's
[x]ordonez

the birthday girl

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-25T12:04:00

2004-04-25T19:07:07Z

heh heh heh

all i have to say about his weekend ... especially friday night was AMAZINg .. lol .. i misght have been a little too drunk .. but it was good ass times ... from the 200 + pictures we took .. to like ryan being drunk off his ass ... goood asss times ...

gil oicked me up at around 530. we went to go pick up mango at shcool. back to gils hous e.. chill stats .. ... Matt and reeses peanut butter cups <3 ... dropped off mango .. tall babies house .. chows house .. party up in HuuuRRRRrr ...

i FINALLy met jenny jones .. and she FUCKING RULES .. the rest of the night will be put in pictures ... oh yeha.. and i changed 3 times that night

we weren't touching lips .. it's the camera angle ..

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-22T00:28:00

2004-04-22T07:37:01Z

today giw picked me up .. picked up chow from school .. chilled at his house .. waited for hector to come

then we headded it out to the troubador ... sound check .. wrist band ... food ... light the sky .. THE COLOUR are sO FUCKING AWESOME .. limit point ... i walked around alot .. i couldn't sit still ... umm i sat down to talk .. headed home ... dropped off chow .. went to laurens for like 10 minutes ... but we didn't want to "bleed the scene dry" ... so we went to jax and parked in the parking lot and talked ... i love my brother bear ... seriously gil is an awesome friend ... i love my brother bear ...

now it's 12:35 and i'm online .. i'll probably go to bed soo too ...

i liked tonight .. it was awesome ...

And I know sour, which allows me to appreciate the sweet.

2004-04-21T10:36:56Z

i read tonight, it was very soothing. i also painted my nails and when i put the clear coat on top it like got all bubbly .. so now i have bubbly nails.

tomorrow is the lts show .. i don't know how to feel about that .. so i won't feel at all. at least for the time being.

i might go see atreyu tomorrow at csf .. but i don't think i can wake up at 9 andbe ready by like 1030 without being all poo faced and cranky!!

hahah obie is a doooork .. that's why i love him

oh vegan: you wanna throw rocks?
bOOm CHica bmBM: haha
bOOm CHica bmBM: it's too late for that
bOOm CHica bmBM: tomorrow or something
bOOm CHica bmBM: for sure
oh vegan: its never too late with obizzle
bOOm CHica bmBM: haha
bOOm CHica bmBM: true
bOOm CHica bmBM: 7am!!!!
oh vegan: :-[
oh vegan: :-)
bOOm CHica bmBM: hahah
oh vegan: i had a great time
bOOm CHica bmBM: me too
oh vegan: :-)
bOOm CHica bmBM: then none of us will go to see atreyu
oh vegan: liar
bOOm CHica bmBM: i mean
oh vegan: that and the hi speed persuit was fun too
bOOm CHica bmBM: AUDREYU

oh vegan: haha
oh vegan: audreyu!
oh vegan: aow!
bOOm CHica bmBM: i meaaaaan audraeu
oh vegan: raaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! ::hardcore scream in your voice::
oh vegan: :-P
oh vegan: hahahahahaha
oh vegan: audraeyu
oh vegan: so gae
bOOm CHica bmBM: nooo
bOOm CHica bmBM: you can't use any y's anymore
bOOm CHica bmBM: alright
bOOm CHica bmBM: i guess we'll have to though
oh vegan: hahaha
oh vegan: nah
oh vegan: oh wait
oh vegan: yeah
oh vegan: haha
oh vegan: just no more 'ay
bOOm CHica bmBM: yeaaaah
bOOm CHica bmBM: gaeeeeeeeee
oh vegan: eah
oh vegan: reverse!
oh vegan: hahaha
bOOm CHica bmBM: LOL
oh vegan: eah
oh vegan: todae
oh vegan: haha

have i mentioned that i LOVE being single .. well i do.

i mena of course i want that someone to share moments with in life .. but i don't know if i've found him yet .. and i'm fine with being by myself until i do. but am i REALLY by myself? that is the question.

i am out .. talking to obie about things in which i don't write in my journal about

xo aud E>

Even in my dreams, I'm an idiot who knows he's about to wake up to reality

The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-20T18:18:00

2004-04-21T01:32:04Z

well anyway ..

i don't think dyed hair and make up is beautiful. to me it's all about natural beauty .. girls that look good without make up and that's so pretty to me ... i can't stand when girls have like 5 colors in there hair .. eyeshadow all over and all that crap .. mostly fashion core chicks ... but i'm not saying ALL of them are like that .. there are some that only do it to accentuate there good features .. blah .. i dunno .. i just don't think beauty comes in a bottle

last night was gabriels surprise birthday party at laurens .. .gil and i showed up at 9 .. floppy, joe, aracelis, deanne, and jasimine were there .. we were all waiting for lauren bc APPARENTLY O'Bryan told everyone to get there too early ((damn him)). so then lauren and elyese got there .. we were there listening to music .. laughing .. drinking .. dude ... we were all buzzed before gabriel even got there ... hahahah ... so then he showed up with ash, and eric obie ryan molly eric g. steven d .. some guy they hang out with .. stevent melissa sheena her friend, michael lai and fred show up .. fred and i went on a beer run and thanks to my genius directions we take like half an hour to get beer instead of like 5 minutes ... i am retarded ...

back to the party .. socialize .. talk .. RYAN BUYS BE ORDONEZ((THATNK YOU RYAN)) ... gil leaves... fred and i leave .. home at like 130

then i was on the phone and needed to vent some feelings i have inside ... i think i went to bed around 3ish ..

isn't it funny when someone claims to be so mature and grown up .. yet acts like the biggest little kid ever .. stop being immature ... grrr you make me angry ... open your eyes .. RAWR .. nevermind .. i'm not going to get into this .. but just know that i think you're wrong. you're ego will be the end of you.

tomorrow is the lts show at the troub .. be there ... i will. der.

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-19T17:45:00

2004-04-20T00:46:40Z

this wasn't written for me .. but i love it ... the mind of a true romantic

hey girl, get in your car
just drive and dont ask questions
the windows are down, the music is up
a smiles on my reflection
sing along to your favorite song
cause my favorite song's whatever your singing

one hundred and twelve dont sound so bad
when you're here in my heart
when countries divide, time won't coincide
but we'll be the same as we were
we've both got this
direct connection
cause direct connections all we've got

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-19T02:04:00

2004-04-19T09:15:55Z

my weekend was rad.

friday i went with dean to juice it up and jax ... and then we went to melanies house to hang for a while .. that was cool .. had some funtimes .. lots of laughs n stuff ...

i went to see light the sky at no future on and that was fun!! i saw some cool friends .. felt up on someones booty

got home early

saturday

saturday i went with my mom to the mall to do some shopping .. we ate and chit chatted ... i boughht an outfit .. sandals .. pants .. shirt .. hoTTTTT

then after ryan came to pick brit and i up .. we went to laurens .. then we went to the after silence show.. it was cooool ... matt made me laugh like :GIGGILE GIGGLE GIGGLE:: true story .. that boy is awesome.. came home .. talked to fred.. he came to pick me up and we went to some party in hollywood .. i got drunk .. it was great ... passed out late though .. i had a super fun TIME!!! fall out boy and name taken will remind me of that night ...

today .. starbucks ... and then i got to brits at like 1 and i slept till like 4 or so .. and i showered ,, bum status ... it was a lazy/ great day ...

xo aud. <3

i'm happy .. i hope you are too

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-16T10:01:00

2004-04-16T17:30:41Z

bleh bleh bleh ... life is dandy right now ..

it's so weird when you see things from an outside of the box perspective. that is how most people see my life. heh heh heh i like it that way . i surprise people with the knowledge i know .. bleh .. i don't feel like writing about things like that ..

but what i DO feel like writing about is the book ... THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO ... it is SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH a good book .. i am almost done with it am sooooooooo in love it ... the book is GENIUS .. maybe i'll watch the movie one day .. i just hope that when i do it is as good if NOT BETTEr than the book. but movies are never better than the books themselves .. . well i think if you have an imagination they are .. .. i had read it before but hadn't really paid attention ... this time around .. it is amaZING

aghhh i am so tired .. and i feel like having sushi ... or maybe fresh fruit ...

my mom gave me money out of NO WHERE .. .. heh heh heh people say they feel bad for her .. i don't ask her for ALOT of it .. i really don't only when i need it. she'll take me shopping or give me money ... and its not as if i'm not grateful that she gives it to me .. at least i don't have to work .. FOR NOW i know i will soon enter the damn reality which is called life and have a job and buy my own crap .. blehhhhhh ... i am accustomed to being spoiled to death since i was little . my mom ALWAYS tells people the story about me and shoes.

here is the story:

when i was a little girl i wouldn't shop anywhere else but nordstroms for my shoes .. and one day my mom took me to busterbrowns and was going to buy me some shoes there but i had a HUGE fit bc i was like " nOOOO it's not nordstroms."

the end.

it's weird bc i remember having huge fits when i didn't get what i wanted .. and in a sense i still do. when things don't go my way i get into one of my "moods." i hate being told what to do. i hate when you tell me to do something twice ... i just hate authority ... so if i remain this way i'll never be able to keep a job and have to open my own business. and that's not a bad thing either .. i think it'll be good. i DESPISE 9 to 5 jobs and i would love to boss people around. i do it anyway ... it's just he way i am ... i am more thee arrogant leader type than an idiotic follower. but i love the way i am. i may have my flaws .. but it's okay ... everyone does .. i know what some are and have more time to discover the rest. i am barely goingt o be 18. i am a little girl ... people will try to take advantage of that ... and they might .. but only if i let them .. and also they must so i can learn lessons to grow in life .. because i think if you remain the same in life .. not move .. not grown ... it's unhealthy .. stayingt he same forever .. is sad.. and pityful ... why am i writing these things .. i don't know .. but i am waaaay thirsty and i'm going to get a drink of water ..

bye bye

xo me.E>

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-14T18:10:00

2004-04-15T01:12:57Z

my NEW FAVORITE OBSESSION

this boy is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!! i was like OMG!!!!! when i first saw the abercrobie bag .... seriously hotttttttt

on another note ... the dress and shoes i want and am going to get

but i dunno if the shoes are going to match with the dress i have to see them together .. they also have them in pink so ... we'll seee!!!

this is the other dress i am considering ... tell me what you think

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-14T17:39:00

2004-04-15T00:43:35Z

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-14T17:16:00

2004-04-15T00:35:04Z

so many different things going through my mind .. i mean there are just SO manythings to think about. right now .. life is good. complexed.. yet good.

my mom is the best .. she bought me sushi today .. from crazyfish .. i think that is the only good thing about living on the west side.

umm i've been exercising and eating healthy too .. i try not to eat too much bread n stuff like that .. so far so good .. except for the sushi ... but i'll run that off later ...

anyway .. hahah lewis can take his boxers off without taking off his pants .. the things he comes up with ..

i i didn't know that the canoga park hollister was closer to me than the one in cerritos .. it's 14.7 miles ... cerritos is like 22.9 ... my mom and i have a new mission ..

ummm i am SO EXCited about the prom dress i want .. it's SO BEAUTIFUL and the SHOES ARE HOTT TOOOOOOOOOOo i shall post a picture of them.

my sleeping habits are beyond fucked up. i need to stop writing that word ... the "f" word .. i write it waaaaaaaaaaay more than i say it.

if i come up with more to write .. i'll write it later ... other than that ... toodles ..

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-10T22:09:00

2004-04-11T05:38:22Z

* . . . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*
1) pierce your nose or tongue? nose ... tongue rings are fucking GROSS
2) be serious or be funny? funny
3) drink whole or skim milk? whole

* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated? i am simply complicated

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels? flowers
6) grey or gray? grey
7) color or black-and-white photos? b&w .. without a doubt .. worth a thousand words
8) lust or love? both
9) sunrise or sunset? sunset
10) M&Ms or Skittles? both
11) rap or rock? rock
12) staying up late or waking up early? sleep all day .. out all night
13) TV or radio? computer.
15) eating apples or oranges? both

* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *
16) Do you have a crush? maybe ...
17) Who is it? don't you WISH YOU KNEW

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
18) being hot or cold? hot
19) tall members of the opposite sex? are great .. but short boys need love too
20) sun or moon? depends .. romantic sunsets ... and lovely moon lit walks
21) emeralds or rubies? emeralds... my birthstone!!
22) left or right? right
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best friend
24) sun or rain? SUUUUn ... i'm FROM SO CALI
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?chocolate
26) boys or girls? boys ..
27) green beans or carrots? green beans
28) low fat or fat free? neither

* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *
29) What is your biggest fear in the world? sharks
30) Kids or no kids? kids .. in the future ..
31) Cat or dog? dog
32) Half empty or half full? depends
33) Mustard or ketchup? ketchup
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books? a book is a book .. same context ... so who cares ..
35) Newspaper or magazine? both
36) Sandals or sneakers?sandals
37) Wonder or amazement? amazement
38) Red car or white car? depends on what kind of car it is ..
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich? neither ... i am destined to be happy
40) Singing or dancing? singing WHILE dancing
41) Hugging or kissing? both <33333333333333333333333333333333
42) Corduroy or plain? plain
43) Happy or sad? happy
45) Blonds, brunettes? BRUNETTES!! we have WAY more fun

* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it? 10:22pm
Full name? audrey christine almaraz
Nicknames: Chris, aud, audjob, nerdrey, mouth, audreyu
Names and ages of siblings? half sister, zoe 12
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? 2 .. they were numbers of my age ..
Pets? none
Height? 5'3- 5'4
Eye color? brown
Hair color? brown
Piercing(s)? ears.

* . . . W H A T D O Y O U W A N T . . .
Where do you want to live? not to sure .. sometimes i want to live in a new york suburb ... other time in a big ole city ... only time will tell ..
How many kids do you want? 1-3
What kind of job do you want? not a 9 to 5 that's for sure ..
Do you want to get married? we'll see

* . . . W H I C H I S B E T T E R . . . *
2 doors or 4 (on a car)? 4
Coffee or ice cream? pumpkin flavored ice cream
Shampoo or conditioner? BOTH .. i'd die with just shampoo
Bridges or tunnels? tunnels
One pillow or two? one to put on your head .. one to cuddle ..

* . . . F A V O R I T E S . . . *
Salad dressing? ranch
Color of socks? white
Toothpaste? whitening toothpaste
Food? sushi
Toothbrush? electric
Alcoholic drink? vodka ... and
Non-alcoholic drink? strawberry water .. or horchata

* . . . R A N D O M . . . *
1 MIN AGO: talking to chow
1 DAY AGO: shopping with mom
1 WEEK AGO: last friday night .. kings game .. and jason berrys party and marios
1 YEAR AGO: shit.. I AHVE NOOO IDEA
I HURT: because i don't know what to do ..
I LOVE: my friends .. family. me
I HATE: lies .. fakes .. my hair smelling like cigarettes
I FEAR: loss
I HOPE: i figure everything out
I FEEL: confused
I LISTEN: to music
I DRIVE: .. wait .. no i don't
I MISS: old times
I LEARNED: honesty is the best policy
I KNOW: i am loved
I WAIT: for my BIRTHDAY
I NEED: attention at times
I THINK: i am the gee
Current Clothes: levis .. pf chonies, white ankle socks ... cali shirt.. vs bra.. stussy sweater
Current Mood: undecided.
Current Music: saosin ((ALWAYS))
Current Taste: the remains of the sushi i just ate ((CRAZYFISH))
Current Annoyance: the factthat i have been listening ti the same song for about half an hour now and i don't want to change it ..
Current Smell: air
Current thing I should be Doing: watching a movie with my mom
Current Desktop Picture: beautiful water WITH a little island
Current Favorite Show: the o.c.
Current Book: i need to go book shopping
Current Movie In DVD: under the tuscon sun
Current Refreshment: ELEMENTS: rain

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-10T21:04:00

2004-04-11T04:05:21Z

today

sleep

grandmas ...

two cousins ..

home

crazy fish

online life .. bye bye

hi everyone .. i hope all is well with you .. all is DEFINITELY well with me ..

i love my friends ..

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-09T14:54:00

2004-04-09T22:09:29Z

ok whats up people .... umm i got an email that is the COOLEST fucking thng ever .. this morning ...

check it out

awesome indeed... i love little things like this from anyone!!! man i have the best prom date EVER!!!

dun dun duhhhhhnnn ... things are okay .. i mean they're not terrible or anything ,, but it's cool ... and i am fine with that choice .. i like the way things are now and i agree with what we/you decided .

OMG i watched the pianist for the first time last night and i can honestly sat it moved me. it was so beautiful ... my new favorit movie ..

i also saw ... mona lisa smile .. and i loved the story .. i loved everything about it .. i loved julia roberts... the 50's .. the actresses .. the story line .. the message it wanted to send out .. all of it!!!

xo/ today i shop...

i am out ...

he's the one i want .... bitches BACK OFFFF!!

DDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEE .. the 23rd .. i'm there!!!!!!

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-07T19:48:00

2004-04-08T02:59:00Z

sleep is all that i have done

umm .. don't really feel like talking about much .. what i do feel like talking about shall be told to the people i confide in .. O'Bryan and Brit ... they own me ... rawr ...

Lewis is hott like SIZZLE .. true story ...

umm i went to drop off someones shirt monday night .. i was sooo nervous .. i am the gee ...

crazy fish afterward .. o mhan i LOVE sushi ... you non sushi fans are cuuuuhrrazy .. and you WILL be a fan once you go to CRAZY FISH .. true story

oh yeah on monday night lewis came to brits house OUT OF NO WHERE and surprised me with a PIRATES OF THE CARIBEAN keychain WITH MY NAME ON IT .. that is the fucking COOLEST THING EVER!!! ... pleasant surprise ... i was in aw ...

did ou know that listening to saosin in elevators full blast gets old ladies who are standing right next to you PISSED OFF ... heh heh heh ...

i love john mayer .. especially the acoustic version of "back to you" ... it's just as beautiful if not more beautiful than the regular version ... that song is the story of my life ...

i went on a SCANathon ... today ... i have sooo many pictures .. old school memories .. i'd post them .. but RAWR ... later

i am angry and sad .. i hate waiting it gives me a headache ..grrrrrrrrr ((ANGRYNESS!!!)))

i am out

i have a date with JOhn Mayer ...

xo aud <3

p.s. want love .. we'll make it ... (((I LOVE HIM)))) .. i envy the girl this SOng is about ...

tsk tsk tsk

I am heaven sent .. don't you DARE forget

2004-04-05T11:49:54Z

:::Random pictures i thought i'd post

i like to smile

sometimes when i get nervous .. i touch my ear

my eyelashes are hotter than yours

i look like DUH

radical.

i'm telling you ... this guy has the best hair ever!!soooo soft .. i am j'd

thank you guys for making my spring beak SOOO FUn .. and waaaay memorable ... love you mucho
OBIE trice ... you kno wme better than ANYONE!!! i love you sooo much ...

GOOD TIMES .. that's all i have to say ::tapping nose:::

lewis .. you're so fun and listen .. thank you

brother bear ... always have the best times when i'm with you .. love you

chooooooooooooooow ... .man we are some crazy girls .. ::tapping nose:::

ashraf ... sillyboy ... ::wink wink::

cholo .. thanks for always thinkig of me . thanks for calling at the precise times when i feel down and making me happy without realizing it .. :D

^^^^^^ click on that ... it's a link to more pictures ... sorry my links are white like my page .. that'll change soon
night

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-05T03:51:00

2004-04-05T11:00:18Z

there are three people i would like to thank for making my day a happy one

first off .. lewis: thank you sir you always know what to say to cheer little ole me up ... you have wise words and have only my best interest at heart ..you are stunning .. breath taking .. then next top model !! i believe in YOU ... and thank you for believing in me

cholo : you and your crazy rambles ... i love the phone calls .. and all the things you have to say to me ... you make me smile.. just by being you ... even when you're busy as hell .. you find time to call me just to say hi .. that's awesome ... thanks you

brits mom ... ice cream is the cure for EVERYTHING!!! heh heh heh

okay i said what i had to say .. it's done .. the end.i think...

my sleeping pattern is sooo fucked up .. i should have been awake from 830 to 1130 and asleep now ... i would have slept more .. but a certain someone called and woke me up .. i didn't mind though .. i love phone calls from friends ..

elijah wood is "making love"

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-04T06:11:00

2004-04-04T13:24:22Z

i can't sleep ... it's 6:11 am .. not sleepfor me yet .. gay gay gay ....

i sit here, i'm looking out the window. the sun is coming up. the clouds change colors. the music is playing. soft. mellow. sweet. sorrowful. sad is how i feel inside. mistakes i've made haunt me. guilt is all that i feel. a little too late though. i shouldn't feel this way. things should be normal. happy. blissful. regret is bad. live and let live. learn. somehting i try to do eveeryday. phone calls i receive sometimes make my day. expecting them on a daily basis scares me. falling for that game would be blind. it's so easy to want to give in. nervousness. forgetting the words that were going to come out of your mouth when he walks in. shyness. mystery behind those eyes. questions. why i care. i see through the whole image. imperfection is beauty. beauty that comes from within is cherished. having good times. being silly. zig zags and aligators. my feet barely touch the toher seat in front of me. clicking heels and drinking milk. maxeen. aims. movies days.

hahah .. you probably have no idea what all of this means ... maybe a little bit of it .. but then rest is a mystery .. and now it's 6:25 .. i'm forcing myself to sleep!!! goodmorning...

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2004-04-04T04:55:00

2004-04-04T12:04:01Z

tonight was a gay night .. now i know why i don't drink with dean ... he acts like an IDiOT!!!! but he issssssssssss my nigger face .. and i love hiim to death .. damnit all!!

i am a horrible person .. well not necessarily .. but like ... i just make dumb choices ...

i talked to my mom today .. it was cool .. i talked to her about the events in my life ... what's been going on .. movie recommendations ... just dumb stuff ... but it was nice ...

he keeps the box we used to speak in open

i love these quotes

Constantly talking is not necessarily communicating.

I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

i am in over my head ... and have forgotten how to swim ... story of my life ... i feel like crap .. blah .. i shouldn't try to cover up specific feelings with other petty things which will just end up causing a fight with friends .. kinda .. argument .. whatever ...

anyway .. it's way late .. i should sleeep ...

i am out

xo aud. <3

audreyisrad @ 2003-12-17T05:56:00

2003-12-17T13:56:26Z

hi.

sucks for you.

xo aud. <3